Flash Dreams Of TROJAN GEAR AWESOME!!!

Flash: HUUUUGH!!! TROJAN GEEEEAAAAR!!!

A pony swiftly swims through a bunch of water and arrives in an underground docking bay where a few guards are hanging out. The pony gets out of the water and onto dry land and makes a call in a CODEC Communication.

Flash Sentry: Ugh! I hate this suit!

Shining Armor: Hey, what's up, Flash?

Flash Sentry: Can I take off this suit?

Shining Armor: Yeah, whatever! But it's pretty buck'n cool! *Gets pushed*

Princess Cadence: Hey there, Flash Sentry!

Flash Sentry: Sweet Celestia, hotness! I wanna clop to you!

Princess Cadence: Oh wow! I can't believe I'm being hit on by the famous Flash Sentry!

Flash Sentry: Okay, shut up!

Flash sneaks through the docking bay and takes out a guard, then enters the elevator and strips off the scuba suit. He then stands at the exit of the elevator right as an airship is about to take off with Flash's twin brother boarding it.

Comet Tail: I'm going to get into this butt (boat) now! *Enters and flies away with Flash arriving on the scene*

Flash Sentry: *Answers a call* Hmm?

Shining Armor: Hey, Flash! Check it! Go sneak 'round!

Flash Sentry: Okay! *Walks around a big square thing*

Guard: Huh? Who's hoofprints are these?!

Evan: What the buck?! I didn't expect that!

[!]

Evan: BUCK!!!

A huge group of guards surround Flash and it cuts to a GAME OVER screen.

Shining Armor: Hey, Flash! YO! FLASH! FLAAAAAA-

Evan: SHUT THE BUCK UP! *Turns Super and appears in a CODEC with Shining Armor*

Shining Armor: Sorry, dude! I thought Flash was a goner!

Flash: *Is surrounded by unconscious guards* Didn't even break a sweat! *Fountain of sweat shoots out and knocks out Winona, who is randomly there* Oops... I guess that's why Applejack says not to sweat around dogs... *Gets a call*

Soarin: Hello, Flash! It's been a while! Do you remember me?

Flash: Comet?

Soarin: No, it's Soarin! Your old buddy!

Flash: Who? Were you in Flashing Life?

Soarin: No, Flash! Don't you remem-

Flash: Why do I hear a propeller in the background?

Soarin: That's my stomach, I'm real hungry, dude!

Flash: Hungry for pie?

Soarin: No! Hungry for PIIIIE!!! *Laughs*

Flash: *Laughing with him* Shut up! *Gets off of call and moves up to an air duct sequence and then reaches a ladder and gets called again only to cut his ear off with a spear blade* STOP BUCKING CALLING! I know how to climb a ladder! I'm a pegasus for the moon's sake! Sweet Luna, OW MY EAR!

Luna: Here, let me get that for you. *Heals his ear*

Flash: Thanks, Princess.

Luna: As you say, it is all good! *Smiles and disappears*

Flash: *During another air duct sequence, he reaches two rooms, one where he sees a purple Alicorn laying on her bed* Whoa! Awesome! *Then ahead where he sees a familiar face on a toilet* Drum? Is that you? Are you taking a dump?

Drum Role: You know it!

Flash: *Drops down* Hey, man! Tell me what you know about TROJAN GEAR!

Drum Role: *Looks shocked on toilet* YOU KNEW?! *Farts*

Flash: The story is called "Flash Dreams Of TROJAN GEAR"!!!

Drum Role: *Constantly making fart noises* Yeah.... Awe yeah... Yeah! MMPH! Yeah... *Farts one more time* MM-MM-MM!!! Yeah well, they're making a new TROJAN GEAR 'n stuff! And I talked! I gave 'em my password, man! *Farts* Yeah... *One more* Awe yeah! You know when you gotta go real bad, but it doesn't hurt coming out? That's so satisfyin' man!

Flash: Gross... *Knocks him out with a smiling hammer and gets called by Shining Armor* Yeah, Chief! Turns out Drum had to go so bad that he fell asleep on the john! TROJAN GEAR, whatever... Twilight's hot!

Shining Armor: She's my sister!

Flash: SHE'S STILL HOT, PLOT-HOLE!!!

Twilight: Get out of there right now!

Flash: Shut up, hotness! *Sees the impostor holding a crossbow with the safety on* The safety's on! *Dismantles and eats crossbow* BROGMOGMON!!! You have rookie eyes!

Twilight: They're not rookie eyes! They're reading eyes!

Flash: Shut up, ditz! *Gets a call* STOP BUCKING CALLING!

Twilight: Is that your...

Flash: It's your brother.

Twilight: Oh, he's a moron...

[!] Guards come in and aim their weapons at them.

Flash: *Takes out spear* Don't just stand there! Shoot!

Twilight: You bucking ate my crossbow!

Flash: Oh... then use your horn or whatever!

Twilight: Don't tell me what to do!

Flash: JUST DO IT, DITZ!

Twilight: Okay! *Grabs unconscious guard and throws him at the guards* There, happy?

Flash: Yeah! Now we gotta go!

Twilight: I'll go on ahead! Look at my flank!

Flash: Okay. *Looks at Twilight's butt as she walks away, remember this! THIS IS IMPORTANT!* Cool...

Chrysalis: *Floating in front of Flash* I'm going to be a bosssss!

Flash: Am I hallucinating?!

Chrysalis: You like STALLIOOOONSSSSS!!!

Flash: YOU CAN SEE INTO MY MIND?!

Chrysalis: No.

Flash: Buck... *Later, he sets a charge on a wall and blows it up*

Guard: *Hearing explosion* Huh?! What was that noise?! *Walks away*

Flash sneaks in past the guard and into a room where some random pony is being held captive and surrounded by explosives while Discord is twirling something mysterious.

Discord: I bet you wish to know what it is I'm twirling in my talons right now, don't you?

Flash: Not really...

Discord: Hmm? *Gets talon cut off by a mysterious figure with a sword* Hmm?!

????: Cool, yo! We might just get dat stop plot d'vice jank in da sequel afta-all, man!

Discord: AGH! What is wrong with you?! We haven't even fought yet! *Shooting Lucky Charms cereal out of arm and runs away*  

Flash: *Just knocks the other pony out with the hammer and gets a call from Shining Armor* Another sleeping spell! What the hay is going on?!

Shining Armor: Hang on a second! That looks more like a mallet wound to me! *Gets knocked out by a flying hammer* ACK!!!

Flash: Okay, now to find... Wait, what was I looking for? *Calls up Shining Armor* Hey, Chief! How do I contact Twilight?! *No response* Oh... whoops... *Calls up Cadence* Never mind. You're too hot.

5 Days Later...

Evan: Yeah, I don't know what the buck to do.

Johnny: You gotta look at the description below for Twilight's CODEC number.

Evan: Oh... Well how the buck was I supposed to figure THAT out?!

Johnny: Chief tells you!

Evan: Oh, whoops...

Johnny: What?

Evan: I knocked him out.

Johnny: With what?

Evan: A hammer.

Johnny: You mean... *Grabs it and swings* THIS ONE?!

Evan: *Gets hit with the Happy Hammer and falls unconscious* UGH!

One hospital trip later...

Evan: *Sigh* Okay, so... *Scrolls down to the description and sees the number* 140.15! Okay, cool! *Scrolls back up and continues reading*

Flash: Hey, hotness! What's up?!

Twilight: WHO THE BUCK ARE YOU?!

Flash: It's...not important...

Twilight: No way... It can't be! You're Flash Sentry! SWEET CELESTIA, YOU'RE SO AWESOME! Yes, oh MAN!!!

Flash: SOME ponies call me that... *Sees Twilight take off her mask* WHOA! SWEET LUNA! YOU'RE SO BUCKING HOT!

Luna: Aww... why thank you!

Twilight: So what's up?

Flash: I need you to advance the plot!

Twilight: You got it! *Horn glows as she writes with a quill on a scroll* Done... and... done!

Flash: Thanks, baby!

Twilight: Need any mooore help with that wing-boner?

Flash: Nah, I'm good for now! *Sees the door open* Cool! *Goes through and gets laser-ed to death* Cool! AGH!!!

Evan: WHAT THE BUCK! Nopony told me there were lasers there!

Twilight: *Calls him on CODEC* He, Flash! There are lasers there!

Flash: BBLLBLBLBLBLL!!! *Revived* Okay! I guess I'll have to use this dry ice I hid in my HELMET!!! *Pulls it out and puts it in his teeth* AWESOME!!! *Starts coughing like crazy while maneuvering around the lasers as he makes them visible with his coughing* ACK!!! GAH!!! AWE, CELESTIA! IT'S KILLING ME! HOW DID I CONTAIN THESE THINGS?! AGH!!! *Walks out and gets bombarded by landmines* AARARARAAAAGH!!!!

Evan: WHAT THE BUUUCK?! Nopony told me there were BOMBS there?!

Twilight: *Calls him again* Hey, Flash! There are bombs there!

Flash: Awe yeah, thanks, ditz! *Gets back up and starts sparking with electricity* Oh gee wiz! I sure hope a tank doesn't totally come out of nowhere and OWN ME!!! *Gets shot at by a tank that comes out of nowhere and owns him*.....Rrgh... Y'KNOW! SERIOUSLY! I'm getting just a LITTLE BUCKING TICKED OFF!!! *Gets called again*

Twilight: Hey, Flash! A tank's totally gonna come out of nowhere and-

Flash: SHUT UP!

Bulk Biceps: *Pops out of tank* YEEAAAAAH!!!

Flash: Do you SERIOUSLY think this is bucking fair?!

Bulk Biceps: Uh... Yeah...

Flash: Oh yeah? *Takes bombs and throws them at him* Awesome! *Flies away*

Bulk Biceps: HUHUHUH!!! YEAAAAAH!!! I JUST YEEEEAAAHED HIM IN THE YEAAAAH!!!

Discord: What?! *Talking on a phone in his paw while his talon is still shooting out Lucky Charms cereal*

Bulk Biceps: YEAH! YEEEEAAAH! YEEEAAAAH!!! Your talon's still bleeding!

Discord: Shut up!

Bulk Biceps: YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!

Derpy Hooves: *Appears* YAAAAAY!!! *Bites a muffin* MM-MMM!!!

Rarity: *Calls Flash up* Flash! You can't use weapons on that floor!

Flash: Who the buck are you?!

Rarity: Actually, I just made it impossible for you to use weapons anyway!

Flash: Wait a second... What, what, WHAT?!

Rarity: That floor contains very unstable-

[!]

Flash: OH BUCK! I CAN'T USE MY WEAPONS! GAAAAAAH!!!! *Gets shot down with arrows*

Rarity: *Cringes* Okay, I guess that was kind of stupid...

Flash: *Revived and in a gaseous room* URGH! Did somepony fart in here?! *Gets a call again*

????: Yo, yo, YO! F.S. Flash dawg, gee!

Flash: What?

????: Aight, listen up! Launch a muddabucka arrow da-blatblat pow-majiggy dawg! Yeah, muddabucka!

Flash: Gah! How does everypony know my number, grrgh!!!

Bee Jay: Yeah, aight! Just call me... Bee Jay!

Flash: Gross... *Fires a guided arrow and moves forward where he sees a bunch of ponies knocked out* Uh...

Guards: *Collectively groan*

Guard: Hey, that was kind of ni- UUUGH!!! *Gets knocked unconscious*

Flash: What the HAAAY?!

????: Yeah, yeah! Follow me, Flash!

Flash: Y'know, that doesn't seem like the best idea...

????: JUST DO IT, MUDDABUCKA!!!

Flash: FINE, JEEZ!!!

Amp Atom: Oh dear! I'm so scared! NAAAAHHHH!!!! *Urinates all over the place*

????: AW C'MON, MAN! THIS IS DISGUSTIN'! AW MAN, DISGUSTIN AS TARTARUS, DAWG!

Flash: Hey, guys! What's going on- agh DAAH! PRINCESS LUNA! AAGH!!!

Luna: Yes? You called, Flash? OH SWEET CELESTIA! SISTER!!!

Celestia: Hello, Everypony, what's ha- AAGH WHAT IS THIS?! WHAT IS THIS?! IS THIS URINE?! AGH! IT'S EVERYWHERE!!! AUTHOR! WHY ARE YOU EVEN WRITING THIS?! THIS IS DISGUSTING!!!

????: Yo, STOP PEE'IN, DAWG!

Amp Atom: Okay! *Stops and both Flash and the mysterious pony confront each other with urine dripping off of them*

????: So, Flash... I see you've arrived!

Flash: RRGH! I got pee all over me!

????: Flash! I need you to hurt me! A LOT! PLEASE!!!

Flash: What?!

????: MORE, Flash! Hurt me MORE, Dawg!

Flash: Whoa... Holy Bit!

????: I'M SO BUCK'N CRAZY! WHOA GEE-! *Starts bouncing all around the room and scaling on walls and banging his head on the floor while going-* BBLBLBLBLLBRBLRBRBRBRRB!!!! *Disappears*

Flash:......BASS KEYS! *Calls up Rarity* Hey! Whatever your name is, stupid ditz! I dunno! But that was Bass Keys!

Rarity: Yes, I know. I just forgot to tell you.

Flash: Y'know, you're not helping...

Rarity: He was an experiment.

Flash: IN WHAT?! S&M or something?! What did you DO to him!?

Rarity: SHUT UP, FLASH! You're hurting my feelings inadvertently!

Flash: Fine! Go and be buckin' mysterious! See if I care! *Gets off and goes to Amp Atom* Sheesh! What did you drink, man?!

Amp Atom: You're not one of them?!

Flash: Dude, seriously! You just peed like a MILLION gallons EVERYWHERE!

Amp Atom: It's just like one of my favorite youtube videos!

Flash: *Grabs him* RRRGH! WHAT THE FRUIT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! I'M TALKING ABOUT... YOU KNOW WHAT! And you're talking about some stupid internet video that I don't give a BUCK ABOUT!!!

Amp Atom & Egoraptor: *Both crying*

Flash: Where'd he come from?! Okay, look. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. I have a bit of a headache. But I need you to focus... and you to get out of here! *Egoraptor disappears* Look. TROJAN GEAR is a magic nuke-launching thing and I need you to become a legitimate character from now on, okay?

Amp Atom: TROJAN GEAR launches nukes?! No... it can't be!

Flash: What?! You mean you didn't know?!

Amp Atom: Look, Flash. I'm going to explain a LOT of stuff right now and it's not going to make any sense, so you can just skip this part if you want.

Evan: Oh, okay. At least he had the decency to tell me... Bucking bombs... *Skips through the scene until...*

Amp Atom: ARE YOU COMING ONTO ME?!

Flash: WHAT?! HEY! WHY DID YOU STOP ON THIS PART?! In fact... WHY ARE YOU EVEN WRITING THIS PART, AUTHOR?!

Joanna: YEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEEE!!!

Johnny: *Throws her out of chair* Hmmmm.... Sorry about that! Go ahead, Evan!

Evan: Oh! Sorry! *Skips again*

Amp Atom: Remember when Twilight totally wiggled her flank right in front of your face?

Flash: Oh, yeah! I remember that! Wait, that was important? I didn't know! I was just looking at her plot!

Amp Atom: Well yes! Of course it was important, idiot...

Flash: Shut up! *Hits him with hammer*

Amp Atom: *Dizzy* Grandfather... you mixed the chemicals wrong... *Falls over*

Flash: Okay! So anyway, time to find Twilight! *Jumps ahead to him finding Twilight* Okay, now to look at some flanks for a while... *Sees some messy and stinky looking ones under armor suits and shudders* AAGH!!! This would be a whole lot more bearable without the whole "NOT Twilight's Flank" thing!

[!]

Flash: *Sees a mare-shaped guard run off* Darn it! *Goes into the mare's bathroom and encounters Twilight there* Well HELLO, Awesomeness!

Twilight: I'm glad you're here, Flash... I really need somepony to talk to right now.

Flash: Uh-huh... *Hardly listening*

Twilight: Flash! Please! This is really important!

Flash: Sorry! *Shakes head* I'm sorry! You're too pretty and it's kind of distracting. *Sees Twilight put on armor* There we go. C'mon, let's get going!

Twilight: Flash... I need to tell you. Ever since I was a filly... I- *Gets bopped by hammer and her eyes cross with a crooked smile*

Flash: Fantastic! Let's go!

And so they go..... Until they reach a hallway in which Twilight starts acting weird, complete with her eyes dilating and her moving like a zombie.

Twilight: Flash... Mate with me, Flash! Come here and LOVE ME! I want you... FOREVER!!!

Flash: DUDE!

Chrysalis: YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO HIT HER!

Flash: YA DARN RIGHT I'M GONNA HIT THAT!

Chrysalis: Oh, for the love of... *Zaps Twilight and knocks her out*

Flash: Oh, c'mon! You plot-hole!

Chrysalis: So! You like to read "Fasten Your Sentry"!

Evan: Wh-What... WHAT?!

Chrysalis: LET'S FIGHT, FLASH!

Flash: Oh... well... okay!

I AM ERROR! PRESS ANY KEY TO RESTART!

Evan:......?!

Chrysalis: HUHAHAHAHAHAHAAAH!!!!

Johnny: Uh-oh...

Evan: WHAT IS THIS?!?!

Chrysalis: I'M OWNING YOOOOOUUUUU!!!!

Flash: AAGH!!! I can't do anything! She's reading my mind or something! HELP ME!!!

5 Days Later...

Evan: Dude, what have you done?! I don't know what to do now!

Johnny: Evan, you gotta plug in your mouse on the second USB Port.

Evan: Oh. Well how the buck was I supposed to figure that out?!

Johnny: Chief tells you!

Evan: *Sigh* Yeah, I get it. That's supposed to be real cool and all, but seriously! What the heck?!

Johnny: Yeah, I know what you mean.

Evan: Ah, whatever.

Johnny: Hey, by the way! Guess what!

Evan: What?

[!]

Johnny pops out of Evan's phone and swings his happy hammer at him! This causes Flash to wake up!

Flash: AAAH!!! What?! What the?! Huh?!.....What did I eat last night?! These dreams are getting worse!

Luna: *Right next to him in bed* I wouldn't say that! They seem to be getting better for me!

Flash: *Eyes widen* AAAAAAAAAH!!! *Turns over and sees Amp Atom on the other side* AAAAAH!!!

Amp Atom: Quiet down, Flash! I'm trying to sleep!

Flash: *Looks up and sees Egoraptor clinging to the ceiling with his head turned 180 degrees and glaring down at him*

Egoraptor: I hate you... SO MUCH! All of you are dead to me!

Flash: AAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!! *Snaps awake again and now is in his real bed and panting* Author... Bravo... WHY DO YOU TORMENT ME?!?!?!

Bravo: *Outside with Author* Because it's that much fun to get you in your sleep! HOOT!

Author: YEEEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHEEEE!!!

FIN